When Thinking Instead of Singing in the Shower.....

I anoint myself with rose oil,
you waft into my mind.
Water steams down my back
flushing skin with thoughts of you behind....
A closed door.

I explore the crack
On my knees, seeking you.
Light explodes, splits my heart
Premonition insists I pay my dew....
'I am not ready.'

I glory in vulnerable skin,
Defiant in lust, excuses wash me clean.
I turn my mind's eye blind
truth insidiously thrusts laying a grimy sheen.....
'This is not what I want.'

I sigh not sated in release
pleasure dilutes wisdom as I fly.
I hit the ceiling,
Sensation sinks headlong, who laughs first later cries....
'What should I do?'

I step out onto the cold floor
hard tile dampens heat toes to thighs.
I shiver in knowing,
Glow dulls dim, body reflecting what mind implies
A lock clicks open.